Despite logically understanding that will eventually ease the pain of losing, that it will provide a buffer so that I will be able to think of her not hurt so bad, right now that doesn't help.Time just seems to make things worse. The harder it is to accept that it has been three weeks since I last spoke to her, saw her, knew she was a living part of my world. The shock has worn of the gnawing reality that I will never see or speak to her again is tangible and solid. The ache it leaves me, the desperation I feel at knowing that for the rest of my life she will no longer be around to call or spend time with leaves me feeling so desperate and alone, I miss her so much that I just want to be with her. Tomorrow is the final exam for year 1 and I try so hard to study but I feel like I am living in fog and no matter how much I read none of it seems to sink in.
(From facebook 1st September 2009)
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